Monday, January 10, 2011

snow

We are having our first significant snow of the year... the forecast is calling for 7-10 inches. Last year by this time, we had already had 30 inches of snow. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed shoveling the sidewalk last evening (though there were only a few inches at that point) and how much I enjoyed driving this morning. I ran some errands this morning as I had no early clients. It wasn't just tolerable...it was genuinely pleasant to drive slowly through the snow and see everything blanketed.

I was dreading this day because a year ago my experience of snow and winter was so different. I had dropped 30 pounds from treatment, and the cold was not just unpleasant, it penetrated to the bones...my throat was as dry as a desert, and my energy level was so low, I had this awful anxiety that I'd be stuck in the snow and perish due to not having enough energy to dig/walk/scratch my way out of a ditch. I was starting to work again (3 or 4 hours a day), but my mental status was impaired on a number of counts.

Now...I realize I am no longer that person that I was last year... on the other hand, I am not walking around my neighborhood with a shovel knocking on doors trying to make some extra money shoveling neighbors driveways, either, like I did when I was 12. Nor am I leaping for joy at today's school closing. (being self employed utilizes a different reward formula... no clients = no pay)

I am just pleasantly going through my Monday, watching the plows from my office window, and giving thanks for the health I have right now. Cool. I've had more and more moments of effortlessness and ease in going through the day...and it's really been a long time coming. For many months, I had to "try" to have a good day, and it took effort and concentration to keep my state of mind optimistic and pleasant and focused. Now...there are days I almost forget (the dry throat doesn't quite let me forget) the past year and a half, and I have that nice (yet delusional) sense of immortality that comes from good health and feeling fit.

Tomorrow, who knows. But today... this winter snow and cold is no match for me! Forget Arizona, Southern California, Florida...I'm staying right here in Lincoln Nebraska, and enjoying the good life!

2 comments:

  1. Makes me almost wanna come to Lincoln, Nebraska. Bet I'd see Jimmy Stewart ambling down the street, as well! As a Venice Beach California girl who didn't see or touch snow until 18 years of age, I find it utterly fascinating... and yes, I've spent time in parts of the world where it was 'Snow 10, Mortals 4'.... where you restoked the fire and thanked God you had enough food in the house 'cause it was just too much of a hassle to venture out. I can boast, of course, from the wilds of mellow Novato, where it'll crack 55 F. by early afternoon. And most importantly, I am so glad the ordinary and delicious are returning to you.

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  2. I'm excited to see the change from last year! That simple joy at the snow and the winter and your ever-healing self, well it warms the heart. I hope that this new year will find joy upon joy piling up in such profusion that they are as grains of sand.

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