This past weekend, my wife and I went to Kansas City to celebrate our anniversary. We ate some good food, went to a museum, some galleries, and did a little shopping. A very good trip.
I came home and became really sick. My temperature on Sunday evening was 102.4. I felt lousy for most of this week.
Here's what I thought, when I was feverish, nauseous, coughing, aching, etc... "I have learned how to be really sick, and so now, I will do it with more gracefulness and detachment." Crap. I couldn't. I just felt miserable. I wanted to take all those good lessons I wrote about last year and put them in the dumpster... I just felt lousy.
Actually, I did have one small bit of success. Here it is:
I had a single thought that lifted my spirits immensely. The thought was...
God has the flu.
Let me explain, please. I am NOT God. I am NOT crazy. I apologize for the graphic nature of this... But a few weeks ago, I was in Church... Normally, I bring with me a water bottle because when it comes time for the Eucharist...i.e. Communion, I often can not swallow the bread without a swig of water. Bread is dry, and without much saliva, it sticks in my throat, and doesn't go down, and a sip of wine doesn't get the job done. I'd rather not choke in front of the church, so I just hold off on the swallowing part till I get back to my seat and have a drink of H20. OKAY... TMI.
This particular Sunday, as I knelt at the altar, I realized I forgot my water bottle that day. So, here is what I did... I took a LARGE swallow of wine, enough to completely turn the bread in my mouth to mush... and I swallowed. But as the bread and wine mixed...I had a revelation... I realized I could swallow because the bread and the wine became one, and I could no longer tell where one left off and the other began. THEY WERE COMPLETELY INSEPARABLE... and at that moment...POW... the revelation... It was Jesus saying... "THAT'S ME AND YOU!!!" Did I hear His voice? Not exactly... Did the thought seem to just POP in my head out of nowhere...YES! What did I feel? LOVED!
I AM NO LONGER SEPARABLE FROM HIM... IT CAN'T BE UNDONE!
If I endure suffering, He endures it with me. That reality went from my head to my heart kneeling at the altar. We are One as He and the Father are One. Oh, how that makes the flu seem bearable!
Words rarely do justice to a revelation, so I suppose it sounds a bit silly to read this... but...trust me... it is like Him to stoop to my level to make a point. At least that's how He works in me.
Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me...I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them, even as you have loved me.
John 17: 21-23
I love this post, Steve. (Um, the jury is out however on the counter that is jumping up and down and pointing at me and saying, "You! I see you! No lurking in secret!") I've been poised to write as well the past few days 'cause I also got the lurgy.... yes, with a mild fever. But your words, your heart, the Eucharist and you 'n Jesus BEING ONE in the Sacrament.... YES. I'm a tad whacked out unwell so I don't have to make sense. (Does this make Jesus slightly delirious then?). And from the Gospel of John.... Amen and Amen, my friend.
ReplyDeletethanks...I agree... the counter is a little much... I think I'll diaable and delete it... it's a tad invasive!
ReplyDeleteI thought it was just supposed to be for YOUR eyes so you could spy.... now that would be more fun, methinks.....
ReplyDeleteI hope that both of you recover from the ick swiftly! Please be careful, as it can quickly turn into bronchitis or pneumonia.
ReplyDeleteChicken soup, hot tea and a knowing that all will be well, that's my prescription.