"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." Plato
I've been thinking about how powerful human kindness can be.
Being kind, seeing the frailty and need in another human being and responding from the heart... is always such a beautiful transaction.
Just be kind.
It is a most noble pursuit... Can you imagine how blessed I am to be able to make a living sharing kindness and encouragement in the face of the struggles and pain of others; I am given so many opportunities to respond with kindness. I sit in my office and they come... and I am always richer (I don't mean financially, don't be such a skeptic!)... richer for my meager efforts to meet my clients with kindness.
No big profound thoughts; I was just thinking about this on my morning walk...
He has told you, O man, what is good:
and what does the LORD require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?
Micah 6:8
Kindness.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
sometimes when the night is dying
wow...that sounds heavy...but it doesn't have to be that way...
One of the many joys of this time of year is being able to go for a morning walk while it is still dark out without having to get up too early. Walking while the sun comes up on a brisk autumn day....ahh.... Soon, turning the clocks back makes that more difficult, as does the colder weather. But, I have enjoyed a few good autumn morning walks...I try these days to revel in these little joys.
There is something of beauty and mystery to capture all the time... sometimes when the night is dying...the morning is being born. Yes? The leaves, the leaves. How many memories I can associate with falling leaves...burning them on the street ( a bygone era), diving into huge piles of them, watching my dog run through them, raking for hours and hours, usung tarps, leaf catchers, armloads, fighting losing battles with gusts of wind.
OK, music lovers... what song does this line come from? Don't cheat...
"Sometimes when the night is dying, I take me out and I wander around..."
One of the many joys of this time of year is being able to go for a morning walk while it is still dark out without having to get up too early. Walking while the sun comes up on a brisk autumn day....ahh.... Soon, turning the clocks back makes that more difficult, as does the colder weather. But, I have enjoyed a few good autumn morning walks...I try these days to revel in these little joys.
There is something of beauty and mystery to capture all the time... sometimes when the night is dying...the morning is being born. Yes? The leaves, the leaves. How many memories I can associate with falling leaves...burning them on the street ( a bygone era), diving into huge piles of them, watching my dog run through them, raking for hours and hours, usung tarps, leaf catchers, armloads, fighting losing battles with gusts of wind.
OK, music lovers... what song does this line come from? Don't cheat...
"Sometimes when the night is dying, I take me out and I wander around..."
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
one year check... closer to fine!
Yesterday, another milestone. My one year post-cancer treatment exam with my ENT and oncologist. In both cases, I got a thumbs-up! No sign of cancer. They did a chest X-Ray...the assistant said that cancer can often pop up in the lungs (metasticize is the better word) after disappearing from the primary site....well, I am glad I didn't have that awareness going into yesterday as it would have been one more thing to stress about. Sometimes, knowledge=anxiety. I know that formula...unfortunately, I have googled Michael Douglas and have found some doctors that are quoted as saying that "his type of cancer" (i.e. my type of cancer!) has a much lower survival rate than the percentages quoted in the media. (Crap, I hate those guys! I'd rather leave this in God's hands.) Anyway...Chest X-Ray...thumbs up!
The blood test came back good as well... well, OK...not perfect...my thyroid is a bit "underperforming" not an unusual side effect of chemo and radiation. After all this education and psychology expertise, I still discover I have some performance issues. So, today I start on a little pill to help in that regard. It's not necessarily forever, just rather for the rest of my life. Big deal, big deal. Good insurance. Maybe I'll get an energy boost as well!
One more stat...my weight...I've put back about 10 pounds of the 30 I lost a year ago going through treatment. I am happy to stay right there...I weigh what I weighed when I was 29, and I am about to turn 59. I'll stay there happily, or, if I gain another 10 pounds, I'll weigh 150 and be happy there as well. I no longer feel or look "guant." I can walk miles and miles, and I often do. All things considered, I am so healthy relative to where I was a year ago, that I can almost forget how close to death I actually was. Stage four throat cancer is no place to be.
So...my mood is lifted by the good reports. But there are still the occasional visits to the desert...to the place of incredible and total aloneness that became so vast during my treatment that I had times I thought I was literally drowning in my physical and emotional pain. And, paradoxically, I am drawn back there. Not to the darkness, but to the light that is present in that solitude. I have this awareness that the answer for me waits there...and I am closer to finding it. I know, I know the "answer"...I am just seeking a deeper union with Him, I guess. And for me, it is in that place of solitude that I encounter God. That is the place where all the distractions melt away. That may be the place He calls me to.
So...I am not giddy, but I am "closer to fine."
Hey, I just can't help loving this song. I can listen to it 100 times and not get tired of it. Sure, I don't exactly agree with all the conclusions, but oh, how I love this song...a gem! How is this possible? It is just too good. (How bout these lines... "I wrapped my fear around me like a blanket; I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it." I know, I know, it's so good! )
The blood test came back good as well... well, OK...not perfect...my thyroid is a bit "underperforming" not an unusual side effect of chemo and radiation. After all this education and psychology expertise, I still discover I have some performance issues. So, today I start on a little pill to help in that regard. It's not necessarily forever, just rather for the rest of my life. Big deal, big deal. Good insurance. Maybe I'll get an energy boost as well!
One more stat...my weight...I've put back about 10 pounds of the 30 I lost a year ago going through treatment. I am happy to stay right there...I weigh what I weighed when I was 29, and I am about to turn 59. I'll stay there happily, or, if I gain another 10 pounds, I'll weigh 150 and be happy there as well. I no longer feel or look "guant." I can walk miles and miles, and I often do. All things considered, I am so healthy relative to where I was a year ago, that I can almost forget how close to death I actually was. Stage four throat cancer is no place to be.
So...my mood is lifted by the good reports. But there are still the occasional visits to the desert...to the place of incredible and total aloneness that became so vast during my treatment that I had times I thought I was literally drowning in my physical and emotional pain. And, paradoxically, I am drawn back there. Not to the darkness, but to the light that is present in that solitude. I have this awareness that the answer for me waits there...and I am closer to finding it. I know, I know the "answer"...I am just seeking a deeper union with Him, I guess. And for me, it is in that place of solitude that I encounter God. That is the place where all the distractions melt away. That may be the place He calls me to.
So...I am not giddy, but I am "closer to fine."
Hey, I just can't help loving this song. I can listen to it 100 times and not get tired of it. Sure, I don't exactly agree with all the conclusions, but oh, how I love this song...a gem! How is this possible? It is just too good. (How bout these lines... "I wrapped my fear around me like a blanket; I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it." I know, I know, it's so good! )
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
birthday adventure #3 - a walk around the lake
"Perhaps the truth depends on a walk around the lake."
----------Wallace Stevens
Note to self: ...Stop giving yourself such pressure over these birthdays... Just because I am not jumping out of airplanes or hopping freight trains doesn't mean it's not an adventure. It's supposed to be fun, not pressure!
Yesterday, I had a small adventure...to celebrate (monthly) birthday #3 of 12 for me. (next month is my "real" birthday).
First, and most important...I took the day off. Second, I spent the better part of the morning reading something for enjoyment. Third, I took a friend to lunch. Fourth, I took a leisurely hour stroll by myself around a lake on a nearly perfect afternoon. AND...I had a great insight while on my walk... I mean, a hugely important insight. It had to do with a very powerful dream I had one night in 2005 and still remember vividly. And then, in the evening, I met with my meditation group for a pleasant hour of meditation and conversation.
The weather is glorious...enough to quote Joni Mitchell... "...the sun poured in like butterscotch, and stuck to all my senses." Nice.
----------Wallace Stevens
Note to self: ...Stop giving yourself such pressure over these birthdays... Just because I am not jumping out of airplanes or hopping freight trains doesn't mean it's not an adventure. It's supposed to be fun, not pressure!
Yesterday, I had a small adventure...to celebrate (monthly) birthday #3 of 12 for me. (next month is my "real" birthday).
First, and most important...I took the day off. Second, I spent the better part of the morning reading something for enjoyment. Third, I took a friend to lunch. Fourth, I took a leisurely hour stroll by myself around a lake on a nearly perfect afternoon. AND...I had a great insight while on my walk... I mean, a hugely important insight. It had to do with a very powerful dream I had one night in 2005 and still remember vividly. And then, in the evening, I met with my meditation group for a pleasant hour of meditation and conversation.
The weather is glorious...enough to quote Joni Mitchell... "...the sun poured in like butterscotch, and stuck to all my senses." Nice.
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